Your comment just made my day! I've been trying so long to try and figure out who I am in regards to religion, faith, and philosophy and I am still learning. Interesting! Like, for instance. I do believe in God's word, Jesus, etc. Certainly, it's in me but I also understand that I can't blindly follow someone's idea about God or a god because as humans how do we ever know?

I just looked up very briefly what an Essene was: an all male group who copied the dead sea scrolls and barricaded themselves from the Roman Empire: https://www.christianity.com/wiki/people/are-the-essenes-mentioned-in-the-bible.html.

I'll gladly read the link you've sent!