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I Can’t Look Back At My Own Journal Entries
Sometimes the past is scarier than the present, even though it no longer exists
When I journal, I do so out of fear and hope. I fear what might come out of me because it is so secret, so private, and so damning all at once. Yet, I have hope that this cathartic writing will help me reconcile my problems and, hopefully, help me see who I truly am. So why can’t I look back at past entries? Are we supposed to? And if so, what would we glean from looking back?
What dreams have you had that were hindered by your own self-doubt? How can you prevent this from happening again in the future?
Guided journals are like therapy in a book. You never know what question will hit you. Two weeks ago, a guided introspective journal asked me to write about a time when a dream was deferred. I was on edge because I had at least three dreams deferred, and I wanted to write extensively about all three.
When I finished, I dropped my pen and stared at the wall ahead. I exhaled and closed the journal. “I never want to see this kind of journal entry ever again,” I thought. I wasn’t mad at the question, just more or less mad at the person I was back then, and saddened to know there are…
